My usual posts are of the “How To” and “What You Need to Know” wedding planning ilk. Typically I mix in some funny anecdotes and sarcasm. Today’s post is slightly different. I’m not going to ignore what’s going on in the world and our country. Some may find what I have to say a bit challenging to think about.
We are living in extraordinary times with unprecedented actions being taken to prevent the spread of COIVID-19. In a matter of days, life as we know it has changed forever. I’m sitting in a greenhouse in my parents’ back yard typing this as all of my usual haunts are closed. For better or for worse we’re all in this together. Without a clear understanding of what’s happening today, it becomes infinitely harder to predict what will happen tomorrow.
Love in the time of COVID-19: Should I cancel my wedding?
I’ve seen the question as to whether couples should cancel their 2020 weddings or not, floated around a lot. This question has popped -up amongst professional vendor groups and couples themselves.
Before any type of conversation happens or a decision is made couples need to be clear and understand what a wedding is.
A wedding is an act, process, or instance of joining in close association. It can also mean a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities. (Thank you, Merriam Webster)
Notice that the latter definition does not say “have to be” with its accompanying festivities.
“Wedding – an act, process, or instance of joining in close association.”
So, before you (or your vendors) decide that you should cancel your wedding due to local and/or national restrictions on large gatherings you need to sit down and ask yourselves this question:
Why do you want to have a wedding?
Is it because you want to have a big party to celebrate your love with your family and friends?
Is it because you want to be joined with the person you love more in this world than yourself by giving your vow of forever in a ritual that is as old as time?
If making this commitment to each other is more important than the celebration itself than you can still have a wedding.
A wedding in the time of COVID-19 could mean one of the following options:
- Eloping – just the two of you, your officiant, and a photographer
- A small ceremony – the two of you, your officiant, your parents or whoever is most important as your witnesses.
- Live Streaming Your Ceremony – there are a ton of options and services out there that provide these services. This is definitely an option for the history books and I’m sure your families and friends would enjoy the distraction of watching you say “I do” over the interwebs more than watching an episode of the Gilmore Girls they’ve already seen a zillion times.
- Having a Wedding Reception at a later date
As a wedding professional my couples, priorities are paramount over what I want. My hope is that whatever option couples choose, their family, guests, and vendors realize it’s the smallest actions that can have the greatest impacts on those we hold closest to us and to our communities at large. We are all holding each other up in this moment together.